Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
