she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
