If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my vag is so smooth its legendary
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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