I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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