Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
