I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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