Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
