winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he laminated a picture of his dick.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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