Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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