That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
