when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
They have beer where we have blood.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize