I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Someone shit on the floor
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
