Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
