What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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