your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize