Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
