I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
