Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
