I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
