that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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