My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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