Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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