New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
