It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do herpes really smell.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
