three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize
