Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Dicks are not precious.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
