I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
