our cab driver is having phone sex.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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