Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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