One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize