you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
do herpes really smell.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
