dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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