Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
