i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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