ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
