This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
