Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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