dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Randomize
