I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
