Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
