im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
