White coat. Heels.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
