We won't sleep together?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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