Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
