girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
