By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
