Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize