It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
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You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize