whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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