You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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