everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
