just come out here and I will go home with you...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
