Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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