Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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