My underwear smells like fireworks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I would fuck him just for his dog
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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