I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
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That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize