there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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