at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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