Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
