I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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