what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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