I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's Friday. Sex?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
