This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
