...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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