It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
