i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
