Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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