you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
