Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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