yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
